Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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