I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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