Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
