nut hugger
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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