ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
