worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
