Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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