Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
