called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
