in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
