Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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