i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
