he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
