grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Can I color on your dick again?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
