I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
