Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
