That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
