The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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