When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just want nice things and good sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
