Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
