In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
