Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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