I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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