Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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