Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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