Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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