I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
