Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
