Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
