Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
