went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I didn't notice because vodka
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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