please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
