I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We have so much sex to catch up on
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
