In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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