You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
