did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
