I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
