I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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