you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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