What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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