I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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