im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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