For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
