I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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