Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize