People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
