also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I want to make a zoo with you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
