haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
