I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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