some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
