So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
