Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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