Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
