just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
