OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
