even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
