would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
