The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
