This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
