He is such a slut. More and more my type.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
