Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
