this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
