im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
