I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
