so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
