what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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