birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
