If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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