whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Every concussion has its silver lining
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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