"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
