What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
