if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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