I wish I could punch you in the face.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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