I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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