They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
