So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
