It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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