Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
id be glad to
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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