I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Someone signed my nipple.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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