Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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