Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
