The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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