Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
