I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He better not be in your backpack
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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