I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
