my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
